And in the Quiet, HE Speaks...

I don't know what it is with being sick. My schedule just gets off track. I nap during the day, sleep a ton at night, or, in the case of yesterday, I was up after about 5 hours of sleep. I woke before 8 am, to the quiet sleepiness of a house. No child or dogs awake. The sun peeps in through the curtains. Can't go back to sleep. 'Oh goodie!' I think, 'A bit of quiet time for me!' I grab last night's leftovers, tissues, and a hot cup of lemon ginger tea and settle in to catch up on Facebook and emails.

Yet in the quiet, HE speaks.

We've been attending the revival services at church this week. If you knew me, you'd know this is rare. First of all, I've been disillusioned with church lately. Not sure where we fit in, not comfortable there, purposely pulling away until I figure things out. But we went to the first revival service on Sunday Night. I felt this overwhelming need to come back. As fate would have it, I became very sick on Monday. Again, if you knew me, I don't move from my home when I'm sick normally. But I felt like I should be at services. So me and my tissues and cough drops have been going to services all week. And HE has been speaking to me.

Oh, not the audible noises we would want to hear. But through the speaker's words, through the commitment of others serving during revival and the spiritual renewal I've witnessed others have at the alter.

I've been taking notes on my phone during service (I'm sure the older couple behind me have been frowning, thinking I'm texting during church! lol) The speaker has asked thought provoking questions, so as I sat there yesterday morning perusing Facebook and eamils, HE was speaking to me about revival.

'What is it that is keeping me from fully devoting my life to God?'  Hard question that. I thought I had. But I notice that I've let life's situations and homeschool and other devotions creep in on my time, my focus. I don't visit with God as much as I should, or even as much as I want to. There is always some excuse.

1 Peter 5:8-10. Be self controlled and alert. your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.

Yesterday I was thinking about what the speaker said about this. He didn't say the devil wants to trip you up, or mess with your life, or cause you problems. He wants and desires to DEVOUR you. And each step I take away from God is a step towards the roaring lion. That's a scary thought. Yet if we 'stand firm in the faith' and to me this means actively persuing a relationship with God, the devil can NOT devour us. Even homeschool and the rigors and worries of getting everything done and accomplished can and have pulled me away from God, in my effort to do it all 'myself'. HE wants to be in our homeschool. Not just at bible time, not just at scripture memory time, but in the planning and the executing and the discussions; and the worry. 

It's like having a glass of ice and the devil is the air and space around the ice cubes. If I fill the glass with liquid (aka: God) there is no room for air (Devil.) I want to always keep my cup full.

The speaker also addressed the word ALERT. We need to be attentive to where the devil can attack us. We must not let our attention waver. The devil will take advantage of any opportunity we will give him. As in the case of my frustration levels. The devil knows this is one of my weaknesses. When I'm frustrated at my children or situations, he takes that opportunity to bring in doubt, doubt that I'll never get it right, that I'll never be the mom/wife/homeschool teacher/cleaner/cook/Christian that I want to be. I allow him to bring that doubt. Instead I should turn to God and ask him to remove the doubt, to instruct me in where I can do better and find encouragement in the things I do accomplish and get right.

And in the quiet, HE speaks.


NOTE: I found out the church made Podcasts of the Spiritual Renewal Services from this week. You can listen to them here (2/27/11 - 3/2/11)