And in the Quiet, HE Speaks...

I don't know what it is with being sick. My schedule just gets off track. I nap during the day, sleep a ton at night, or, in the case of yesterday, I was up after about 5 hours of sleep. I woke before 8 am, to the quiet sleepiness of a house. No child or dogs awake. The sun peeps in through the curtains. Can't go back to sleep. 'Oh goodie!' I think, 'A bit of quiet time for me!' I grab last night's leftovers, tissues, and a hot cup of lemon ginger tea and settle in to catch up on Facebook and emails.

Yet in the quiet, HE speaks.

We've been attending the revival services at church this week. If you knew me, you'd know this is rare. First of all, I've been disillusioned with church lately. Not sure where we fit in, not comfortable there, purposely pulling away until I figure things out. But we went to the first revival service on Sunday Night. I felt this overwhelming need to come back. As fate would have it, I became very sick on Monday. Again, if you knew me, I don't move from my home when I'm sick normally. But I felt like I should be at services. So me and my tissues and cough drops have been going to services all week. And HE has been speaking to me.

Oh, not the audible noises we would want to hear. But through the speaker's words, through the commitment of others serving during revival and the spiritual renewal I've witnessed others have at the alter.

I've been taking notes on my phone during service (I'm sure the older couple behind me have been frowning, thinking I'm texting during church! lol) The speaker has asked thought provoking questions, so as I sat there yesterday morning perusing Facebook and eamils, HE was speaking to me about revival.

'What is it that is keeping me from fully devoting my life to God?'  Hard question that. I thought I had. But I notice that I've let life's situations and homeschool and other devotions creep in on my time, my focus. I don't visit with God as much as I should, or even as much as I want to. There is always some excuse.

1 Peter 5:8-10. Be self controlled and alert. your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.

Yesterday I was thinking about what the speaker said about this. He didn't say the devil wants to trip you up, or mess with your life, or cause you problems. He wants and desires to DEVOUR you. And each step I take away from God is a step towards the roaring lion. That's a scary thought. Yet if we 'stand firm in the faith' and to me this means actively persuing a relationship with God, the devil can NOT devour us. Even homeschool and the rigors and worries of getting everything done and accomplished can and have pulled me away from God, in my effort to do it all 'myself'. HE wants to be in our homeschool. Not just at bible time, not just at scripture memory time, but in the planning and the executing and the discussions; and the worry. 

It's like having a glass of ice and the devil is the air and space around the ice cubes. If I fill the glass with liquid (aka: God) there is no room for air (Devil.) I want to always keep my cup full.

The speaker also addressed the word ALERT. We need to be attentive to where the devil can attack us. We must not let our attention waver. The devil will take advantage of any opportunity we will give him. As in the case of my frustration levels. The devil knows this is one of my weaknesses. When I'm frustrated at my children or situations, he takes that opportunity to bring in doubt, doubt that I'll never get it right, that I'll never be the mom/wife/homeschool teacher/cleaner/cook/Christian that I want to be. I allow him to bring that doubt. Instead I should turn to God and ask him to remove the doubt, to instruct me in where I can do better and find encouragement in the things I do accomplish and get right.

And in the quiet, HE speaks.


NOTE: I found out the church made Podcasts of the Spiritual Renewal Services from this week. You can listen to them here (2/27/11 - 3/2/11)

Purpose. Conflicted...

Do you know your purpose in life. I question mine all the time. After all, what do I do? Homeschool, mother, be a wife, artist sometimes, blogger sometimes, confidante when needed. And I'm not very consistent with any of them. I always feel like I should be doing something different, something more. I pray about it and what my purpose is in life but don't feel like I have a clear answer from God. Sometimes I think maybe that IS my answer. What I'm doing is where he wants me to be at this very moment. Maybe my purpose feels undefined because I'm not meeting the potential of the purposes I'm purporting to do at the moment. 

The little one an I are studying Romans 12. Verse 1-2 says: 

¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

I question my committment to not conforming to the pattern of this world. I eat too much, I complain too much, I'm lazy a lot of the time, I watch too much TV, and its not all gospel TV either. I'm a CSI fanatic and anything close to it. Am I conforming if I watch all this stuff? I profess my hatred of the news and don't watch it but by watching these other shows, isn't that just as bad? Oh, it's my entertainment, I say. Doesn't hurt anyone, I don't let my kids watch it. Then I get to thinking, if I don't let them watch it, why am I? It's like rated R movies. Some of them are so good, but have language I don't care for or bedroom scenes I don't need to see. I don't let my kids watch it, why is it okay for me? Am I a conformer after all?  

And another thought, maybe I'm not hearing what God's will is for my life because I'm conforming? It does say 'be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.'

Conform: 

1. To correspond in form or character; be similar.

2. To act or be in accord or agreement; comply:

3. To act in accordance with current customs or modes.

God calls us to not be like other people. He wants us to be so different in our deeds and everyday life that people will take notice and say 'I want to know what they have and how I can get it.' We live in a flawed world, if I'm doing the same things the world does, aren't I a part of the problem? If I do nothing to fix a problem or injustice in this world, aren't I really agreeing to it?

My problem lately is thinking I want to make changes in how I am and then trying to reconcile that to a whole family changing our ways. Everyone in the family might not be on the same convicted pages as me. Where do I go from there?

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world... This world is selfish, angry, encouraging others to  only lookout for 'el numbero uno'. Our children are pushed into adulthood at young ages by the things they see, the things they hear, the relationships they are allowed to participate in, the situations we stand by and allow them to handle on their own. Our children can not learn to 'not be of this world' if we're not setting the example for them. If not us, who will they be looking to? Other children? Is that where we want them to learn all about life? I think not.  But when I think of all the changes I think I should make, quit watching TV, not be on the computer mindlessly, should be more organized, more of a housewife/cleaner/cook, setting the example for my family, volunteer, mission somewhere, be more involved in my church and my extended family's lives; I get overwhelmed. I mean I don't think we have to step back into the stone ages or into a quaker lifestyle; there must be a happy medium where I still feel like I'm NOT conforming to this world. These verses convict me more than I really care to say.

I got off track here about purpose, which is really pertaining to further verses. Maybe that will be another blog post. I'm feeling conflicted tonight. Okay, off to plan my history lesson (that's a whole other blog post as well.)

Hands-On Memorization

This is how we're learning the scriptures this week! lol

The little one was having trouble remembering the order of the 'Love is' and 'It Does Not' in the 1 Corinthians 13 scripture. I figured, she's looking at her hands all the time anyway, might as well 'advertise' on them! 

Worked so well, we need to trade out the information today, since she has learned all that I wrote on there yesterday!  Not that I'm condoning writing all over yourself but I'm kind of condoning writing all over yourself for a good cause.

Hey, whatever works, right?! RIGHT!

Starting The Day...

I realized today I have not had that stressed feeling for most of this school year so far. What a release. What a joy. Maybe its all smoke and mirrors in my head because we cover so many subjects a day  (with the Charlotte Mason approach we're trying this year) and I just 'think' we're moving forward, but I really feel like we're doing well.

Gone is the stress of not feeling like we're getting anything done.

Gone is the worry about getting up SO EARLY in order to accomplish all we need to do.

Gone is 'most' of the arguing about school subjects and length.

Gone is the desperation in my child's eyes during an hour long (or more) math lesson. 

Gone is the desperation in MY eyes, counting the days until Thanksgiving vacation.

A friend reminded me of something today when she posted a quote on her Facebook wall: 

"Tomorrow I plan to work, work, from early until late. In fact I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer."  - Martin Luther

I forget, most days - if I were being honest, to start my day in prayer. Sure, we do scripture memory and a bible story. But real honest to goodness prayer for our schoolday and my family, I tend to push that duty aside. It should be a joy to talk to my Lord about my upcoming day, not a' have to' thing. And how much better would my day be if it began with God? 

I plan to experiment with this 'morning prayer' phenomenon (haha) and see how it improves our day!

Charlotte Mason Blog Carnival!

 (Image is of a print you can purchase here: Alicia Bock)

Yay! One of my articles made it to the Charlotte Mason Blog Carnival (I'm sure all articles make it, but I'm excited just the same! hehe)

The blog post I submitted was the Scripture In Pictures post about how we're memorizing scripture these days. 

To see all posts featured in the Carnival, visit the hosting blog here: CM Blog Carnival.

You can submit articles here too: CM Carnival Blog Submission.

P.S. I ran across another Carnival on Homeschooling today. Although I haven't submitted any articles to it yet, I thought I would share. Lots of great links. Carnival Of Homeschooling. To submit articles for this one, go here: Blog Submission.

Scripture In Pictures

 (Psalm 100: 1-3)

This week we've been experimenting with how we learn scripture. I'm sure we've tried memorizing things before but with this year being our first year using Charlotte Mason methods, we're memorizing scripture. We started our homeschool year memorizing the Lord's Prayer. I thought that was an easy one to start with since the little one had heard it and probably tried saying it  a few times in church. So memorizing that one went pretty well.

Then we moved on to Psalm 23. What a soothing, comforting passage! The little one took right to it and we had no problems memorizing it. I think because its kind of like a story. I used this scripture passage to teach inflection in speech. The little one has a habit of just running through the sentences as fast as she can remember them but I had her learn it like she was giving a speech. So others could understand what she was saying. I've also told her how excited her grandma is going to be when she tells the learned scriptures to her. This added incentive creates more pride in the learning and speaking.

After that we tried memorizing Psalm 100. Something about that scripture was hard! A lot of praising, gladness, joy and faithfulness. Don't get me wrong, wonderful words of wisdom. But words that don't  conjure up immediate pictures in your head. So, after several frustrating days of not getting anywhere, we turned to picture-grams. This took the fun of learning up a notch and made us forget the drudgery of repetition (that my children seem to hate with a passion.)

(Psalm 100: 4-5)

We took liberties with some of the words (one of my favs is dd's interpretation  of 'good' as a thumbs up! lol) We used a face to indicate 'his, him or he' and an up arrow to mean 'Lord'. I think my daughter got more out of the experience than trying to memorize a scripture by rote.

We have some ambitious scriptures passages coming up I'm hoping we are able to get through:

1 Corinthians 13

Romans 12

Deuteronomy 5: 6-21  (Ten Commandments)

Matthew 5: 1-12 (The Beatitudes)

Luke 2: 1-20 (birth of Jesus)

Proverbs 31: 7-31

How do you learn scripture? What passages do you learn?

(Sorry about the picture quality, taken with the cell phone and written on a white board.)